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Pigeons are getting really, really fat, at least around where I live. They’re kind of pathetic, if you ask me. They don’t even fly anymore! They just scamper around like a hyperactive chihuahua who drank black coffee or something.
I even spelled pigeons wrong. weee.
Once, I briefly visited Chinatown. Great food. But we saw no pigeons, which me and my family thought strange. Then, we walked under some type of archway, and made the terrible mistake of looking up.
There were 50 pigeons, all sitting in perfect row, their lard-bodies all squashled together. They were so fat and lazy, they didn’t even bother running away. I bet they couldn’t even run to save their fat feathers. They stared at us with pitch-black, soulless eyes. They remained motionless even as I ran around waving my hands to scare them away. They were so terrifying I though they were planning to sacrifice me to the evil pigeon god or something.
On a somewhat unrelated note, I’ve once seen a pigeon run across the street with a whole hamburger in its fat little beak. It was probably the most beautiful, but yet the most pathetic thing I have ever seen in my sad little life.
Ah, the wonders of nature. Yay.
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